single_man_tear | Journal Entry: Dear Sam

Dear Sam,

Yesterday a new guy showed up on the beach. Had no clue how he got there or why. Turns out he's another alien. Seriously. You can't swing a dead cat around here without hitting one. Plus the streets are pretty narrow so you'd probably hit some normal people too.

I spent my morning in the park chasing bunnies for a High Queen. No, I'm not on drugs. She apparently needed a chain smoking bunny to send a message to a coked out fantasy world called Fillory. I thought she was off her rocker until she told me she was missing her best friend. So naturally I promised to help her. Which means research. Ugh. Wish you were here to do that instead of me.

You would have hated her, Sam. She was rude and bossy. I liked her. Something about her reminds me of Crowley.

And then I went to a bar and banged a vampire.

Shut up, I'm fine. It's not like that here. He's like a vegan or something.

If I'm in the room when you read this, I know I'm getting a look. Technically you banged a demon and drank demon blood first so you got no room to judge me.

Check the bookmark. I got you a coupon for adult diapers. Save it for double coupon day.

-Dean

[NFI]